#METOO



So yea, I have my own story.  I was 22.  Fresh out of Stanford.  Still a virgin. I don't say that with pride...I wasted my Stanford years. If I could do it all over again, I would spend more time exploring the nice, smart, young, available men in college...

Temping is one of the best ways to break into the entertainment industry. Upon my college graduation, I signed up with a few agencies and started accepting assignments. They were mostly mindless...and it was impossible to see how my Hollywood dreams were going to come to life until I spent a week working for a a record label with a deal across the street at Warner Bros.

It was Friday. The executive to whom I had been reporting complimented my work and asked what I wanted to do with my life. He had gray hair. He was fatherly, nice, friendly. So I shared what only my childhood friends knew, "I wanna sing."

"Well, you're in the right place for that!" he said. "Let's see what you've got, tonight!"

"Tonight? Like an audition?"

"Yes, once everyone clears out, you can sing for me!"

Stacey, the Stanford grad, was a virgin with no street smarts. No alarms sounded. I was excited!

Once the office cleared out, I went into Mr. Music Executive's office ready for my audition. He was seated in a velvet club chair with a drink in hand. And he was grinning, not smiling, grinning, like he possessed the keys to my future. And suddenly I was visibly nervous. Mr. Executive offered me a shot of tequila. I declined. And yes, I should have left at this point, but I wanted my audition. I wanted to be a STAR.

But, I stood there in silence. I had spent years annoying my family, my college roommates, strangers spontaneously breaking into song, but now I was mute. I stared at him. He stared at me.

"Anytime, Baby."

I was blowing my big break. I prayed for some assistance, and then it came to me...the perfect song. I started to whisper this gospel tune I'd learned years earlier when my mother briefly joined a Baptist church (long story, we're mostly Catholic).

Dear Jesus, I love you
You're a friend of mine
You provide my every need
My hungry soul you feed
I'm aware you are my source
From which all Blessings flow
And with this thought in mind
I know, just where, where to go.

He was stunned. I was barely audible as I sang about my love for Jesus. No doubt, he was expecting some rendition of anything Whitney, Janet, Madonna even Paula Abdul would have sufficed. What the hell was this?

He cocked his head, "Are you sure you don't want the tequila?"

"No, I'm good," I said. "Sorry, I know that was a little shaky."  I tried to physically shake it off.

"You have a beautiful voice...I think. You just need to calm down. Come closer." He motioned for me to stand next to his chair. And I did. "Go ahead, try it again."

Dear Jesus, I love you
You're a friend of mine

I sang louder...with feeling. And the lights went off. "Relax, Baby."

You provide my every need
My hungry soul you feed

"Sing it like you're really HUNGRY." And his hands started caressing my thighs feeling their way to a place they had no right to be.

I'm aware you are my source
From which all Blessings flow

And my voice cracked, my thighs clamped shut with his hands still between them. That was unintended. The tears started to flow.

And with this thought in mind
I know....

I couldn't reach the high note.  I stopped. Started to heave in his direction. He got up declaring, "You're not ready!"

I shook my head in agreement. Packed up my things and left without a word. I never returned to that office. I never pursued singing again. Many would say, "That's OK!"

I called my college BFF that night and recounted the incident. She cried with me. And then I suppressed the memory until #METOO!





Any creeps in your past? Did you repress your bad memory?   Share your story.

PURGE AND SURGE

Comments

  1. I put 15 yrs into my career with a company I thought I would retire from. This is 15 yrs ago though(pre #metoo) when fear was a strong force which prevented women from speaking up for themselves, or one another.

    I worked so hard, followed all the rules, played the corporate bullshit games , wore the heels & suits(even kissed some ass) to get promotions . So many innapropriate situations but when I finally decided, after having my ass grabbed at the (COMPANY HOLIDAY PARTY!) TO speak up and report this behavior it cost me my career.

    Most devastating fact was my peers with whom I shared some of this with we're to afraid to back me up! This was a 2 yr ugly battle which mostly my attorney benefited.

    I lost so much including my confidence, ambition, friends it was a very lonely time.
    I am a different person today, I am so grateful that Women finally have a voice!! Fuck them!
    and fuck that asshole that I allowed to have so much power in my life for those years!
    Whoa .....that felt good
    #metoo!!

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